Leading With Questions
#14 - Thinking about wrinkles, questions, and how many visits I have left
Leading With Questions, Not Statements
I wonder if there are only two ways to respond to the world?
With a statement
With a question
Responding with a statement means you understand, have all the facts, and have nothing to learn. It is incredible we would respond with anything other than a question when you think about it. Tell me more? What do you think? Why? Even when someone asks your opinion, are you sure you understand what they are asking? Are you sure you know what they need? How do you add value to their journey?
My knowledge curve
It took until I was 40 to realize I didn’t know anything. That might be a bit of an overstatement, but not much. This is an attempt to map out my knowledge curve. What if I had been able to realize at 20 that I didn't know anything? What would that mean for my understanding today?
The Ratio of Statements to Questions
If I genuinely believe that I don’t know much and am on a journey to gain more wisdom, then my ratio of questions to statements should be very high. It’s not as high as it should be. I am working on it.
Wrinkles
I got to visit my grandmother this week. The world’s been enjoying her company for 90 years. Not sure how many visits I have left. But I’m super grateful for all the ones I have had.
Naturally, I am biased, but she is an incredible woman. Kind, generous, and all the other things I want to be when I grow up. Sitting there listening to her, I noticed the wrinkles. What’s special about hers, at least the ones around her mouth, is her wrinkles go up. Her wrinkles are clearly from decades of smiling.
Thanks for the lesson, gramma.
Smiles take more work but leave a lasting impression.
How Many Do You Have Left?
While I try to stay away from absolute statements, I lean into the idea that relationships are what matter in life.
On the back of a visit to see my parents and then to see my grandmother, I was reminded of a piece of wisdom shared with me. When we think about those most important to us, it’s not how many years are left in the relationship. It’s about how many visits.
If your parents have ten years left on this blue ball and see them once a year, you have ten visits. That assumes you have the ‘years left’ number right. Once you put it in that light, it changes how you think about how much time you have left. It’s not about years; it’s about visits.
How many visits do you have with the humans that matter most to you?
How many good nights kisses with your person?
How many summers with your kids?
How many sunsets?
How many _____.
What are you doing about it?
Thoughts From Others
My opponent is my teacher. My ego is my enemy. -Renzo Gracie
Everyone is my teacher. Some I seek. Some I subconsciously attract. Often I learn simply by observing others. Some may be completely unaware that I’m learning from them, yet I bow deeply in gratitude. - Eric Allen
It is by consciously confronting the certainty of death, and what follows from the certainty of death, that we finally become truly present for our lives. -Oliver Burkeman
TRUE….I am counting!!😍😍😍