Rene Girard was a Stanford professor and polymath who was well known for pioneering the idea of memetic desire. He believed that human desire occurs through observant mimicry. Like an infant learning by watching her parents, we imitate others who have what we value.
We Copy
Luke Burgis, Author of the book Wanting, gets very clear when he says,
Basic survival, sustenance, sex, warmth: these are all instinctual needs for which we have biological mechanisms to help guide us.
A desire, on the other hand, is an object we pursue for which there is no purely instinctual basis. We don’t have a built-in mechanism to guide us towards wanting one thing over another. But models can. Models are people who show us what is worth wanting.”
We copy others, and for a good reason. We perceive that they are farther ahead on the journey and appear to have the answer. Stated plainly, Mimetic desire means we make our choices according to the behaviors of others. Don’t believe me? Check out this commercial for Lincoln and one of my favorite actors, Matthew McConaughey.
Well, I think he has sold a few Lincolns. By the way, I drive one, so there’s that.
Do you still need convincing? This scene in Casino Royale brings me immense joy. I watch it with a smile every time. Bond is engaged in another high-stakes poker game. Naturally, the fate of the free world rides on the outcome. Enjoy!
Room For Finding?
What happens when we find space to exist without the influence of others? Someone very famous didn’t have a choice - Beethoven. As he aged, he lost his hearing. His best work was when he was nearly deaf. Coincidence, I don’t think so. Here is how Arthur Brooks describes it,
"It seems counterintuitive, to say the least, that Beethoven became more original and brilliant as a composer in inverse proportion to his ability to hear his own—and others’—music. But maybe it isn’t so surprising. As his hearing deteriorated, he was less influenced by the prevailing compositional fashions and more by the music forming inside his head."
Don’t Compete
Beethoven’s loss of hearing took away his ability to compete. While I’m sure he didn’t view it as a gift at the time, his loss of hearing removed the competition. He had no choice but to lean into ‘his world.’
When we compete with others, we copy them. We are chasing what they have or what they are doing. That’s not healthy for us as humans or organizations. More importantly, it won’t result in the best version of the world. It will just mean more copies - more of the same.
This is something to consider as you create yourself, your product, or your community. How are you being influenced by those around you? Are you able to find the space to be you? Or are you worrying and copying what others are doing or what they have? There is only one you in the world - how can you leverage, lean in, and love that gift?
Take Aways:
We look to others to tell us what we should desire. That’s okay, be aware.
When we compete, we are copying.
Make space to be you. There is no one else like you, be you. The competition is in the mirror.
One final thought, happiness is the absence of desire. I am still trying to tame my desires, but I am a little wiser influence. I’ll leave you with this quote from Lao Tzu,
"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you."
References:
Casino Royale. Directed by Martin Campbell. Performances by Daniel Craig. MGM, Columbia Pictures, and Eon Productions. 2006.
Brooks, Arthur. From Strength to Strength. Portfolio, 2022.
Burgis, Luke. Wanting. St. Martin's Press, 2021
Why Do We Copy & Compete?