Better Today Than Yesterday (BTTY)
Better Today Than Yesterday
How should we use our energy?
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How should we use our energy?

🎧 #29 | Listen Now (13 Min) | Lessons from Lucius Commodus on status seeking, the prisons we create for ourselves, and what we owe our communities
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My favorite movie is Braveheart. Given my desire for freedom, this one strikes a cord. The second is Gladiator, an epic action drama that I will assume most of you have seen, and if you haven’t, you have homework.

It’s another story of oppression, war, love, freedom, and sacrifice.

Here’s the gist - the father (Marcus Aurelius) has a son (Lucius Commodus), the son is immoral and all around not a good guy, the son is passed over for thrown by the father, the father dies, the son is pissed and takes it out on father’s favorite general. The general, played by Russel Crowe, makes things right - eventually.

While the storyline is fictional, two main characters, Marcus Aurelius and Lucius Commodus are not. Both lived in the mid-second century.

Marcus Aurelius

Marcus was known as the last of the five good emperors. Machiavelli coined that phrase when he said, “they had no need of praetorian cohorts, or of countless legions to guard them, but were defended by their own good lives, the goodwill of their subjects, and the attachment of the senate.”

Throughout his life, Marcus wrote 12 books titled ‘things to one’s self’ as a source for his guidance and self-improvement. What he wrote almost 2,000 years today is incredibly relevant today. For example,

“It’s silly to try to escape other people’s faults. They are inescapable. Just try to escape your own.”

It would take 1,500 years before it was translated and published as Meditations.

This is from book 12,

"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own."

Despite being an emperor, he did not want accolades - he wanted to do his duty. He would have blushed at the idea of how far his thoughts have spread, but I think he’d be satisfied to know his struggles have provided us all with beautiful lessons on how to live a good life.

Here’s one more from book 7,

"Everywhere, at each moment, you have the option: to accept this event with humility [will]; to treat this person as he should be treated [action]; to approach this thought with care, so that nothing irrational creeps in [perception]."

Back to the movie.

In the beginning, we find Marcus on the front lines facing a germanic horde and simultaneously struggling with the idea that his immoral son, Commodus, will succeed him on the throne of the empire. This is a sicking thought for a man who never wanted to be emperor and knows Commodus is immoral and selfish.

In real life, Marcus would die, causes still unknown, near modern-day Vienna. In the movie, Commodus kills Marcus.

This happens just after Marcus tells Commodus that Maximus, the general, will succeed him and return Rome to the people. This symbolizes, for me, Commodus’s choice to choose himself over the community.

Lucius Commodus

In real life, Commodus would rule for 14 years, and compared to his father, and it would be a time of peace. What was not peaceful was the political strife he created.

Commodus cared deeply about what people thought. As he became more self-absorbed, he saw conspiracy in every corner of the coliseum for a good reason. It turns out he was right. It would take them a few attempts, but a wrestler, Narcissus, would strangle Commodus in the bath.

Psychological diagnosis aside, Commodus worked incredibly hard to create a persona that eclipsed even Marcus Aurelius. He would claim godlike status as the reincarnation of Hercules. Commodus was, in his mind, a demigod, a protector, and a warrior who could defeat any foe. He cast himself as the son of Jupiter and away from the source of his true power, his father.

He was unique and important, and he was the bringer of a new world order that only he was capable of providing. It was all about him and his legacy.

I Care What People Think Too

While few of us are immoral, and even fewer would claim to be a god, we share something in common with Commodus - we care what we people think.

If you say you don’t, well, A) Good for you or B) I don’t believe you. One way or another, I think we all do. Very few ever reach that peaceful place where they don’t give the perceptions of others a single moment of consideration.

As much as I want to say I don’t care what people think, I know it’s not true. I hypothesize that the more someone says they don’t care what people think, the more they do.

If they are anything like me, they want to be liked, admired, respected, and loved. While I have guilt when I have those feelings, I know I’m not bad. I’m just a guy trying to make it through this crazy world while dancing with all of my insecurities.

The real question for me and us is how much energy we spend on satisfying those desires. Our battery is not inexhaustible, and we need to spend that energy wisely.

How will we use our energy?

We wake up each day and have a full battery - 100%. That is the amount of energy we have to put into the world. Whether it’s our work at home, our work on ourselves, or our work for others, we only have so much energy. How much of your battery do you use seeking status up, down, or sideways?

We do it in obvious ways, like what we wear, what we drive, and where we choose to live. There are less apparent grabs for status, like what we post, what we do for a living, and if we have the luxury where we think our kids should go to school.

Our reasons for status are deep. About 800,000 years before Marcus Aurelius wrote Meditations, we find the first humans gathering around a hearth. They were in modern-day Israel and huddled around what was probably nothing more than a fire pit. They came together there to share information, food, and protection. They were a deeply connected community focused on one thing - survival.

We are all fighting to survive, sometimes in reality and sometimes in our heads. We get up each day and do the best we can. We seek meaning, purpose, belonging, and joy. And sometimes we try to put food on the table or clothes for our kids.

99% of the world is too busy worrying about their own lives and survival to worry about you. Thinking anything different is you wrapped up in your self-importance or insecurities. When that happens, remind yourself to be Marcus, not Commodus. Here is Marcus in book 4,

"The tranquillity that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think or do. Only what you do."

Thick Connections & Community

David Brooks shares this idea of thick connection in his book The Second Mountain. This from Brooks:

You love things that are worthy of love. You surrender to a community or cause, make promises to other people, build a thick jungle of loving attachments, lose yourself in the daily act of serving others as they lose themselves in the daily acts of serving you.”

The cycle of judgment is killing us. I judge, you judge, repeat. How do we get back to the days of thick connection? How do we build a jungle of loving attachments?

Today we have more connections, but they mean less. While some are thick, most are thin and facilitated by technology. When you aren’t walking back to the fire dragging an antelope, your contribution and relevance to the community are less clear. We question our place and feel obligated to clarify. Look at me. I’m good. Maybe my sharing here is a version of that?

Another Brooks, Arthur this time, makes this point in his article in the Atlantic when he quotes Lao Tzu:

“Care about other people’s approval, and you will be their prisoners”

Brooks goes on to say,

“I have learned that the prison of others is approval is actually built by me, maintained by me, and guarded by me.”

You are your warden in your prison of acceptance. Unlock your cell and accept you for you, not what you THINK others want you to be. You might be a work in progress but you are enough and hopefully, you can work to spend 0% of your energy seeking status - up, down, or sideways.

But wait, you don’t get a free pass because this life is not about you. Spend your status energy on doing good work and making yourself better for your community. We owe it to our community to be better today than yesterday. More from Marcus,

"Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself."

Better doesn’t mean being better than someone else. It means being better than the old you. That’s what Marcus was doing in his writing. He was struggling in his mind and trying to be BTTY while doing his duty.

You are competing against the mirror of yesterday. Your community needs you to be your best and do your duty.

Only you know what you need to do. Maybe it’s laughing more, loving more, or judging less. I need to do all of those, AND I need to downshift. I need to slow down and see the moments for what they are, my life. And see my people for what they are, my gifts.


Hitting like or leaving a comment will help this reach more people. And if you have time, please consider sharing this with someone else you think might find it helpful too.

I hope you’re good. Take care out there.

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Better Today Than Yesterday (BTTY)
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