He is a dear friend, a long-time mentor, and one of the most remarkable people I know. He left his job as CEO to build a hotel run by folks with special needs. He's pretty special.
For decades, he's drilled into me the qualities required to be a good leader. Here they are:
Humility & empathy.
Self-awareness & self-control.
I've always agreed. They make sense, but I never dug in. Then, I sat with another leader for a few hours talking about leadership, and they started to crystallize. Defining these words helps. Here's how ChatGPT defines these:
Humility is having a modest or low view of one's importance. It involves recognizing one's limitations and weaknesses, being open to feedback and new ideas, and valuing the contributions and perspectives of others. Humility fosters a willingness to learn, grow, and cooperate with others, and it helps build strong, respectful relationships.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person's feelings. It involves recognizing and appreciating what others are experiencing emotionally and cognitively. Empathy allows individuals to connect with others on a deeper level, fostering compassion, support, and effective communication. It is a crucial component of healthy relationships and social interactions, as it helps individuals respond to others with kindness and consideration.
Self-awareness is understanding one's character, feelings, motives, and desires. It involves recognizing one's strengths and weaknesses and how one's actions impact oneself and others.
Self-control is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in the face of temptations and impulses. It involves delaying gratification and exercising restraint to achieve long-term goals.
All these made me think of Jim Collins's definition of a Level 5 Leader from his book Good to Great. Here is a short definition of that:
A Level 5 leader is humble and driven. They use their will to propel their organization to greatness. They do this through modesty, resilience, and a commitment to long-term success over personal gain.
Humility: Low ego. Serve others. We, not me. Everyone and everything is my teacher.
Empathy: Seek to understand. This will bring truth and connection.
Self-awareness: Know your truth. Behavior, strengths, weaknesses, and desires.
Self-Control: Discipline, long-term, rational, resilient.
My friend says these are principles of leadership. But they also apply to everyday life. They're central to building lasting communities, families, and teams.
I hope you're good.
Take care, Kelly
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