"The father washes onto the son. He lives inside you as an aspiration, a disappointment, or a fear. Afraid you will never be like him or afraid you will be; he is there in the bones of your emotions. In the voices in your head. In your expectations of yourself. In the shadows of your weakness or strength. No matter how good the relationship, there is a tension between father and son." - Boyd Varty
It’s easy to say our relationships don’t have to be complicated, but they always are. On the good days, we assume positive intent and push aside the doubt that someone is trying to do anything other than trying to help us. We make space for each other to be with all our good, struggle, and wonderfulness. On the bad days, we tell ourselves stories. We compete, don’t listen, and fail to understand.
We have two choices in relationships.
We can believe, or we can doubt.
Believing means assuming good. You are on my side. My comrade. My ally. And my friend. You may not always say the right things, do the right things, or be there the way I need you. But I chose to believe you are doing your best.
It also means realizing that not everything is about me. We never know what someone is going through. Their reaction to me may be a spillover of a more significant struggle. Believing means giving someone grace because I hope they will give me that grace when I need it, too.
When we doubt someone, we often tell ourselves stories that aren’t true and create our suffering. Most of us are doing our best. Some people are evil or deeply selfish; you should remove them from your life. For the rest, they may need you to believe they are good.
This is why I like sunrises. A chance to be better. A chance to forgive. A chance to reset - perspective, actions, and relationships.
Take care,
Bless you, your writing was to the heart and grace is a beautiful gift. 💗
LOVE NOT JUDGE❤️❤️🙏🙏