Hi Friend,
Last summer, the family was off doing their own thing, and I found myself at home alone with three hairy and very barky friends. I didn’t feel obligated to participate in what they were doing. In truth, I wasn’t invited. That allowed me to be alone without pressures, family responsibilities, email, calendars, or other distractions - all guilt-free.
But I wasn’t alone. I was in solitude. Glorious solitude.
This solitude allowed me the space to think and do what I wanted needed. I chose a stack of books, a run or two, and no small amount of just sitting.
“When one is connected to one’s own core is when one is connected to others, I am beginning to discover. And for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be found through solitude." -Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
The idea of solitude is not novel. Anne Lindberg purposefully put herself in solitude when she wrote Gift From The Sea. Pablo Picasso also believed in solitude. He said it best,
“Without great solitude, no serious work is possible” - Pablo Picasso
And just yesterday,
from sent me a clipping from a magazine with this from Lady Gaga,“I’m interested in living more of a life of solitude. It’s nice to have time to be alone, and be expansive, and know you are enough. I wish I could tell my younger self that.” - Lady Gaga
There is a privilege in this exercise. Lady Gaga has problems you and I don’t (be thankful). Bill Gates is in rarified air with his quarterly trip to a cabin on the lake with a stack of books. Obviously, very few can do that. If we leave it at that, we would be making an excuse for inaction.
There is no reason you can’t find an hour alone without distractions and a notebook. It might mean you get up a little earlier, go to bed a little later, or have a conversation with your humans, telling them what you need.
You and I have, if we are lucky, 30,000 sunrises. After we get our eight hours of sleep ;), we have 1,000 minutes every day. If we let it, all those minutes will fill up with a barrage of distractions. Once your eyes open, our phones, humans, and monkey minds start. We have to make space. Space for thought, deep work, and for ourselves.
"In complete solitude, I stop objectifying myself. In the bush I don’t think of myself on some social hierarchy. I don’t define my value as a comparison with others. The birds and animals don’t judge me. It’s a kind of healing in which I become human again. In complete solitude, we are not a concept of ourselves; we are ourselves." -Boyd Varty, The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life
Solitude allows us time to reflect on what is important, gain perspective, and respond to the world. In solitude, you have space to consider how to respond while everyone else is busy reacting.
I’ll leave you with this, again from Anne Lindbergh.
"I must find a balance somewhere, or an alternating rhythm between these two extremes; a swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion, between retreat and return. In my periods of retreat, perhaps I can learn something to carry back into my worldly life." -Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
You might not be able to carve a week away at a lakeside cabin, but can you find an hour over the next week to spend with yourself in solitude?
Nothing electronic. Just you, a notebook, and your thoughts (as scary as that might be). Be gentle with yourself. We are all a work in progress.
Hug your humans,
The Glorious Activity We All Need