"We forge our truest identity by putting our heads into the mouths of the scariest demons, the realities of our lives. Only by facing our fears, our prejudices, our passions, can we transform the energy that is the source of our aggression, the source of our confusion, the source of our struggle." (Jerry Colonna, Reboot)
I’ve always wondered why I tend to see the 1% wrong when 99% is right, whether it’s about me, my relationships, or the sunrise.
What’s unique about us is our highly-tuned threat detector. Sabertooth tiger, run. I think this is why it is easy for us to criticize ourselves and others. We notice the slight, real or imagined because it could change our position somehow. It might even mean we die. The comment by our partner or our boss may change our life. It’s why we see the monster ahead when it’s just a tree.
Our brains are wired to see the threats. Without perfect information, we fill in the gaps with our own stories. Stories that may or may not be accurate. Stories that are colored by our history, our ego, and our desires. We want to keep what we have and get more of what we think will keep us safe.
Fear has a role. In scenarios where the threat is real, it keeps you alive. Carry bear spray, watch your cholesterol, and fasten your seatbelt.
Where the danger’s not real, it kills our potential. It only cares about keeping you breathing. Its job is to ensure the survival of the species. Even with that, we should not view fear as our enemy, despite its every attempt to hold us back, but rather as a friend pointing us where we need to go.
"Fear is the primary color of the amateur's interior world. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of looking foolish, fear of under-achieving and fear of over-achieving, fear of poverty, fear of loneliness, fear of death. But mostly what we all fear as amateurs is being excluded from the tribe, i.e., the gang, the posse, mother and father, family, nation, race, religion. The amateur fears that if he turns pro and lives out his calling, he will have to live up to who he really is and what he is truly capable of. The amateur is terrified that if the tribe should discover who he really is, he will be kicked out into the cold to die." (Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro)
If you are afraid of a conversation you need to have, it’s probably the right thing to do. Maybe you’re scared of leaving your steady paycheck for that side hustle that lights you up but doesn’t align with the path everyone expects. Perhaps most importantly, you’re afraid of a conversation you must have with yourself about what is true or not about you and your life. Those answers might be scary, but they will push you down the path you were meant to walk.
We must ask ourselves,
“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
Keep this question close as you head into your week (and life). Use it at every corner, every inflection point, every decision, and in every conversation. It will get you where you need to go.
Take care,
What would you do if you weren't afraid?