A few years ago, I was part of a technology transformation at a company. Transformation is really just a big word for fixing everything that's broken. A friend who was leading the project looked at me and said, "Listen, you can have it fast, good, or cheap, but you can't have all three. You get to pick two." That applies not only to technology but probably a lot of things in life.
Lessons From Changing Tires
I just finished a book by a couple of former athletes who now coach NASCAR pit crews. Like the vehicles, the pitting exercise is based mainly on rules and should be the same for everyone. Their job is to coach the team to pit a race car successfully in 12 seconds. That’s the person changing the tire, filling the fuel, etc. They take other athletes, like former Division I football players, and transform them into a team. They used three important words: overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated.
Two Important Things
If you feel two out of those three, it's probably okay. It doesn't feel great; maybe you won't quit. But if you have all three—overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated—you’re out. And appreciation is free. That got me thinking.
Everyone wants to be appreciated for what they do AND who they are.
They might not need as many words of affirmation as someone else, but everybody wants to know that their time is well spent and, ideally, that what they do is good. Most people want to be good.
Appreciating requires attention.
That's true whether you're thinking about one of your teammates or what's happening around you. I could say something as simple as appreciating the clouds, but it takes attention to stop and look at them. The same thing is true for somebody on your team. It's about stopping and recognizing that they bring a specific contribution they may or may not be aware of, and that deserves appreciation.
A Simple Practice
A while back, I started doing this thing, and I'm very inconsistent with it, but I will resurface it. I pick someone and call them on my commute home—an old-school phone call. I know not everybody likes that, and not everybody wants to answer the phone, but it's more than a text. In today's world, it's almost like a handwritten note.
I give them a specific example of what you appreciate, ideally about how they are on the team and what I value in them versus some particular task they completed. Yes, you should tell them when they do a good job on something specific or put in extra effort, but sometimes it's more powerful to appreciate how they go about their work and what they bring. If true, I tell them how they make me feel better and what I’m learning from them because it is true. If we're paying attention, we can take the superpowers of the people around us and absorb some of them. But whatever you do, you have to be sincere.
Fuel
We spend a lot of time identifying everybody else's blind spots and weaknesses. What if we spent more time helping people figure out what they were really good at? When you can appreciate something in someone that they either are not aware of or don't understand is something they're really good at, you can help them pour fuel on their fire.
There are many ways to appreciate people. Making that phone call at the end of the week is just one of them. What if your week ended with a phone call like that? How would you feel today? How would you start your Monday?
Take care. Bye.
-Kelly
Three Words That Matter