You’re not as good as you think. You don’t have it all figured out. Stay focused. Do better….This is the characteristic of how great people think. It’s not that they find failure in every success. They just hold themselves to a standard that exceeds what society might consider to be objective success. Because of that, they don’t care much about what other people think; they care whether they meet their own standards. And these standards are much, much higher than everyone else’s. - Ryan Holiday
Two competing emotions, confidence and insecurity, play significant roles in determining whether or not we reach our potential. Insecure individuals often seek external validation. With insecurity clouding their judgment, they interpret events and relationships differently, frequently perceiving threats where none exist.
In contrast, confident but humble people understand the value they bring to their team, the mission, and the world. They recognize that they could improve and view themselves as works in progress. Their humility helps them acknowledge that they don’t have all the answers and don't need to be perfect. They appreciate their mistakes and obstacles, using the pain they bring to learn and prevent future pain.
Cultivating Confident Humility:
Be comfortable with who you are and who you are becoming. Stop fearing other people’s opinions (FOPO)
Be a curious learner who values listening.
Be open-minded and avoid letting success or talents blind you.
Be self-aware and open to feedback.
Be a space giver, not a space taker. Relinquish control and attention. Don’t feel threatened by the success of others or the mistakes that will inevitably happen.
Be imperfect - embrace imperfection – both yours and the world’s.
Be direct and assertive, not passive-aggressive.
Be resilient. View setbacks as learning opportunities, not personal failures.
Be grateful for the help and the luck that got you here. You know you’ll need more of it.
A confidently humble person combines strength with humility, kindness with assertiveness, and success without vanity. Be confident in your skills and value, know what you know and don't know, and never stop learning.
As leaders, our job isn't to 'fix' people but to help them reach their potential and improve the team. This might mean believing in people before they believe in themselves. Create an environment where they know you have their best interests at heart. Let them know where they stand and where they can go. They have to walk the path, but you can be there when they need a little help or believe in them.
I asked a smart person1 this week for one piece of advice. He said to ask yourself this question:
“What’s it like to be on the other side of me?”
If you found that helpful, grab this link and send it to a friend: https://kellyvohs.substack.com/p/cultivating-confident-humility
Onward, Kelly
James Child - https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-childs-dei/
Confident Humility