“Escape competition through authenticity. When you’re competing with people, it’s because you’re copying them. It’s because you’re trying to do the same thing. But every human is different. Don’t copy.” (Naval Ravikant)
I don’t like the word authenticity. Maybe it’s too big, or too many books have been written about it. It’s probably because too many management consultants who couldn’t manage a lemonade stand talk about it. It’s easy to say “be authentic,“ but it’s hard to execute. Given my aversion to the word, I went in search of another word to replace it and found truthfulness.
So, when we say “be authentic” we are really saying be truthful. When you think about it in that context, our choice is simple: Be authentic or lie.
Let’s stop lying. Wear what makes you feel comfortable, do work you love, and love whoever you want. While I have a personal aversion to face tattoos, I’m down if it feels right for you.
While we are in the spirit of stopping, let’s stop competing.
Once upon a time, there wasn’t enough. Famine was widespread, resources were limited, and you died if they didn’t win against the folks across the river. While not everyone lives the life you and I have, there is enough. Today, we don’t have to compete. We choose to compete because we fear losing resources or status. Someday, we will realize that not only is there enough, but we are enough.
You can’t beat me at being me. I can’t beat you. And neither one of us should try. We should spend no energy there. We should spend all our energy figuring out how to be ourselves. That means understanding what we love doing and who we love doing it with. We should obsess over those things. Once we figure that out, that’s who and what should occupy our days.
It doesn’t matter if there is a degree, a job title, or a label. It doesn’t matter if they will like it at the country club, the nightclub, or the supper club. What matters is that when you put it on in the morning, it feels right. What feels right isn’t always easy, and not everyone will understand. It doesn’t matter if they understand. It matters whether you understand and are being honest with yourself.
So long as you aren’t lying to yourself, keep doing you. No one can compete with you.
Take care,
-Kelly
From The Archive
Your Wake
"I made up my mind long ago to follow one cardinal rule in all my writing — to be clear. I have given up all thought of writing poetically or symbolically or experimentally, or in any of the other modes that might (if I were good enough) get me a Pulitzer prize. I would write merely clearly and in this way establish a warm relationship between myself an…
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