"The intensity of our striving for power is inversely proportional to the degree to which we can be educated."
-Alfred Adler, Understanding Human Nature
Organizational charts are typically represented as pyramids, and for good reason. There is one person who is ultimately responsible, and clarity of decision-making and authority is essential. That said,
Organizational charts should be inverted pyramids.
Leaders are on the bottom, and their job is to support their humans ‘above them.’ Leaders must provide clarity, alignment, resources, and emotional connection. That holds whether you are on the battlefield or in the boardroom. I believe this to my core. There is a problem, though—it’s not right.
The idea of organizational charts, whether upside down or not, is to categorize our relationships as vertical. Someone sits above someone else in the hierarchy of opinion, power, and priority. When we allow ourselves to view the relationship vertically (i.e., we are above or below someone or better or worse than someone), the relationship will not reach its ideal state—one based on respect and genuine openness.
I’ve been a father for two decades and still feel like I’m stumbling around in the dark. The kids take turns going to the dark side of the moon, but they come back. I’ve found that the relationship is strongest when I position myself horizontally to them. They can feel the difference, and so can I. I messed this up just last night. Fortunately, Princess Buttercup was there to call me out.
Perspective Matters
As we walk up the mountain together, if I stand on the rock above them, there is no way to communicate with them other than talking down. When looking down, it’s easy to judge. I’m here, you’re there, this is what I see, and why I’m right. Seeing things from their perspective is impossible if I’m not next to them.
My ‘status’ as a father (or leader) does not give me the right to view myself above them. My title, experience, seniority, or wrinkles don’t make me better than anyone. With permission, my status as a teammate (and human) allows me to teach, counsel, help, learn, and sometimes protect. The best place to do that is standing next to them.
Take care,
Kelly
About the photo: Janer, on the left, has been feeding these birds for thirty years. Anthony, center just a year.
Are your relationships vertical or horizontal?