Are you on a team or just a group working in parallel?
The word "team" dates back to the 8th century and originally referred to a group of animals harnessed together to pull a cart or plow. By the 15th century, it had evolved to its modern meaning—a group of people working together, particularly in competitive contexts like sports or battles.
Today, "team" means collaboration, mutual support, shared objectives, and winning.
A couple of yaks harnessed together to pull a cart are just two yaks pulling a cart. Many so-called teams are like this—maybe your team is too. Just people working in parallel, trying to survive. The best teams work to reach a point that I call "no space between."
Hold your hand and spread your fingers out as wide as possible, like holding your hand up and telling someone you will be there in five minutes. Now, bring your fingers together, with your thumb and fingers pointing up like you are holding your hand up to tell someone to stop. This is the difference between teams with space between and those with no space between.
Here’s what I’d say to a team as we work to have no space between:
1. Trust - We help each other win. Period.
Great teams don’t question whether or not someone has their back: no games, no politics, no half-truths, and no trying to outdo each other. The competition is out there. We don’t have room for it in here.
Allowing issues to create space between us creates a crack in our team’s wall. Cracks are normal and part of teaming. If we don’t address these cracks, they get bigger, and eventually, we will fail. A great team doesn’t let cracks grow. When you see or feel a crack, you have to fix it. Honest conversations are the mortar that repairs these cracks.
Remember, trust is different for each of us. Some trust entirely at the start. For others, trust takes time. You can’t force trust. It is an action-by-action affair. Everything you do builds or degrades trust with the people around you.
2. Be aggressive about transparent communication
Information is motivation and a resource in the mission. Confidentiality is the enemy of trust. Great teams are transparent to a level that often feels uncomfortable to more conventional folks. They are clear on what they will and won’t share but err on the side of sharing.
Often, we get caught in the trap that, just because it’s in our head, we think everyone knows. Everyone doesn’t know. You must keep repeating yourself. Once you start hearing others say it, it’s getting through. When they start making fun of you, it has taken hold.
When General Mattis took over Central Command (CENTCOM), he made everyone put post-it notes on their phones: “What do I know? Who needs to know? And what have I told them?”
3. Seek and tell the truth
We have honest conversations about the work, interactions, and ourselves. We are curious because we want to understand reality. We ask a lot of questions and relentlessly seek the truth. Our biases, history, and ego can color our perspective. We know that.
When we find opportunities or issues that impact the mission, we don’t wait—we address them head-on. People’s lives may not be on the line, but their livelihoods are.
Honest and meaningful conversations strengthen our wall. Two ways to start these conversations are, “The story I’m telling myself is _____” or “The way I see things from my perspective is _____. Please help me understand what I’m missing.” Then, listen, don’t talk.
4. Dissent is a responsibility
We challenge and disagree. Even if we agree, we argue the other side to expose the flaws. It’s always respectful and is about finding the correct answer, not our answer.
Once we decide, and there is no silent voting, we stand shoulder to shoulder with the decision. There is no "we decided, but I was against it." Instead, it's, "We debated deeply, and this is our decision, which we all support 100%."
5. Honor the Missing
Great teams don’t talk about each other behind their backs. Gossip is a four-letter word on these teams. Sometimes, you need to talk about someone when they aren’t there—that’s okay. But when you do, you must tell them what you said. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to someone’s face. No exceptions.
When making decisions, look around and see whose perspective isn’t heard. Maybe it’s because they aren’t in the room or don’t feel they can openly share.
6. We care deeply
The best teams have a mission that each person connects with emotionally and is clear on their role in the mission. We work to establish deep connections with each other and become masters of our craft.
Time is our one nonrenewable resource. We want to spend it doing things that matter to us with people who matter to us, and we won’t let them down.
7. Values Synchronicity
Our work is solving problems—that’s why we exist. We want our teammates to have diverse backgrounds and beliefs to solve various issues. We also want people who are culturally aligned. For example, to be on this team, you must be kind, helpful, thoughtful, and respectful. Your default must be humility, doing the right thing, honesty, transparency, and taking personal responsibility, to name a few.
8. Minimize the Ego
We work hard to check our individual and collective egos at the door. We know egos cause us to take things personally, be defensive, or look down on others. We have a hierarchy and titles for decision-making, not wielding power. We work hard to ensure every member feels safe to bring their ideas, arguments, and self to the team. Minimizing ego also puts the team and mission ahead of personal gain. If someone is overly worried about how decisions impact them personally, they will struggle to do what’s right for the mission and team.
9. Be respectful
We use words like "please" and "thank you." We respect people’s time, show up, and focus. We respect opinions, even when they differ from our own. We practice deep listening and loving speech. We understand that not being 100% honest with someone is incredibly disrespectful and unkind.
10. Follow through on your promises
Great teams hold each other accountable, regardless of rank or title. We are clear on the objectives and work to ensure everyone has the resources to deliver on what we are asking.
Once we do this, we each need to do our jobs. We tell people when we’re asking them to stretch and where failure is not acceptable. People won’t be perfect, especially if we ask them to do the biggest job of their lives. Often, people need someone to believe in them before they believe in themselves. A team leader's job is to help people find their potential. Sometimes, that requires patience and support.
If we’ve been clear with each other and someone isn’t delivering, we address it. We are humans, so it’s complicated. Maybe they need help to get through something hard. Or maybe they aren’t right for the team and must leave. Be honest, that’s respectful. When leading and managing humans, ask yourself, “How would I want someone to treat me?” Usually, that’s the correct answer.
If we aren’t delivering as a team, we need to have the courage to change—either what we’re doing, how we’re doing it, or who is doing it. We won’t let our collective ego or sunk costs get in the way of the correct answer.
11. Spend energy wisely
We only have so much energy - spend it solving the problems that help us accomplish the mission. We must spend as little of it as possible on fear or status.
Clear, consistent, and authentic communication builds trust and reduces fear. This trust helps us create a team where we don’t worry about mistakes, failure, or saying or doing the wrong thing. You aren’t fearless at this point, but you do fear less. When we fear less, we can be more creative and courageous. This is one reason why trust is essential. When we don’t trust each other, we aren’t a team. We are just working in parallel, trying to survive by protecting our status and resources.
Leaders, by virtue of their position, have a significant impact here. If your ‘boss’ is transparent about where you stand and where you can go, it reduces your fear (assuming you trust them). When leaders are transparent with their team, they leave little room for them to tell themselves stories. They might still worry but worry about the same things the leader is worrying about, not something they are imagining.
Leaders can’t solve everyone’s problems. We each need to take responsibility for ourselves and manage the voices in our heads. The negative ones are fear, uncertainty, criticism, and doubt. Remember the acronym FUC’D. If you don’t get those voices under control, you are FUC’D. Insecurity is often the biggest killer of careers. Manage your energy and know when you need to take time to get your head straight. The team is counting on you.
12. Lead by example
You have to model the behavior you want. What you say doesn’t matter; what you do matters.
If you aren’t happy with your team's culture or performance, start by looking in the mirror. You can’t control other people, only yourself. Start there and show them what it means to be transparent, humble, decisive, courageous, truth-seeking, and resilient. Show them what care looks like and what it means to help others win. Show them excellence.
Leadership isn’t a title. It’s action. Everyone is responsible for building a team with no space between.
13. Better Today Than Yesterday (BTTY)
Parties and perks don’t make teams—humans do—interaction by interaction, decision by decision. There are so few real teams because it’s hard and takes time. You can’t fix it all in a day. It has been famously said that “we overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten years.”
Incremental improvement that compounds is difficult to beat. Each day, show up and work to make the team, business, and yourself just a little better. A 1% improvement every day builds on itself. Big goals help you know where you are going, but the little things you do each day make that a reality.
When you go to bed at night, ask yourself, “Did my actions today make the team better or worse?” Sometimes, those actions might be counterintuitive. It might mean you need to take a day off. Or it could even mean firing a customer who is not good for your team. What is the next right thing? Do enough of those, and can you wake up in the morning and say, “We are better today than we were yesterday.”
This is about iteration and requires you to not shy away from hard conversations or decisions, particularly about yourself.
Ask Yourself:
Do you have a team or people working in parallel, trying to survive?
From this list, decide what is working and not working on your team.
From that, what do you think you should focus on? Just one.
Where can you change how you behave to move the humans on your team closer together? How is your behavior causing cracks?
When there is no space between, it will be easy to know—you will feel it and see it in your results.
Hope you’re good.
Take care, bye.
-Kelly
Great Teams Have One Thing In Common: "No Space Between"